{ leave of absense. }
I've been sick (and it's still lingering). I'll see you all again soon.
posted by daintee
at 8:29 PM
2
comments
Monday, August 29, 2005
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
{ winding down }
Today I'm eating baked pork and beans from a can. It is my lunch, and it is the first time I've eaten them since I was force-fed them years ago. I've told myself I didn't like baked beans at all, but for some reason when we got married, I bought a single can of them, perhaps for old times' sake. That can sat in the cupboard of our old apartment for a year, then moved with us to our new condo and found a new refuge in the furthest back corner of the new cupboard. And there it sat, for the last sixteen months. Today, I woke up late, having slept off my headache, and headed straight for the cupboard. I knew what I was after--those beans were mine, today, finally. I simmered them on the stove and brought the rugged bowl of them into the office with me where I sat blog-reading and bean-eating. And you know what? The beans aren't nearly as bad as I remembered. Some days I see myself becoming my mother, downgrading my complicated life for more simple and practical pleasures--I am enjoying putting my hands in dirt more and more as each year goes by; the thrill of my cleaned-to-a-shine fridge left me at peace all week; my lunches have progressed from gourmet pasta endeavors to canned spaghetti on toast, crunchy cereal with a handful of crisp grapes, or a can of baked pork and beans.
These days I am enjoying our lazy pace of life. Derek is back now. We have been going to bed early, and waking earlier than we did before he went away. His internal clock was changed by the rigorous schedules he kept in Panama; I am desperately trying to follow suit, as I have always seen great value in becoming a morning person. Derek has a cold, which has kept us at home instead of running around like wild children during this cooling period which marks the end of summer. Our home has been kept tidy, and the early autumn wind keeps it fresh (we let it in at every window).
Items that had been left on my to-do list are still slowly getting done. I went to visit Sohee and the baby (precious!); I mailed a package to Soyoung in the United States; I bought some more apples, some eggs, some fresh bread. So many people hate the end of summer, but it is gearing up to be my favorite time of year. I love the feeling of winding down. I love when frenzied obligation fades and when life settles into its own peaceful track. Autumn is my favorite time of year, and I am (unlike most others) glad to see it coming all too early this year. Nipping summer off in the bud is rewarding because the splendor of the fall will be mine for more than the typical two and a half weeks that central Alberta tends to allot. I hope I will have two long and glorious months of fall to enjoy this year! I'm dreaming about hustling to nowhere through swishing piles of crunchy leaves. I'm dreaming of a torso warm beneath layers of copper, brown, and tawny clothes, with cheeks that sting with a rosy freshness. I'm dreaming of living vicariously through children with their clean new backpacks and just-opened Bic pens. I'm dreaming of cider, pumpkin pie, scarves, and late afternoon's slanted sunbeams.
Oh, autumn! I love it! And it's in my blood, for some reason--I adore this season and I know it is coming soon. Leaves outside my window are turning yellow and the nighttime air has a dry chill that whispers to me as I huddle down to sleep. Some nights I can hardly sleep, for the excitement of it all. I am like a little child counting sleeps till Christmas. But Autumn, she is perhaps more clever than Christmas; she, too, enjoys the element of surprise, and she'll keep me guessing about her arrival right till the very end. For now, I'll settle for guessing.
These days I am enjoying our lazy pace of life. Derek is back now. We have been going to bed early, and waking earlier than we did before he went away. His internal clock was changed by the rigorous schedules he kept in Panama; I am desperately trying to follow suit, as I have always seen great value in becoming a morning person. Derek has a cold, which has kept us at home instead of running around like wild children during this cooling period which marks the end of summer. Our home has been kept tidy, and the early autumn wind keeps it fresh (we let it in at every window).
Items that had been left on my to-do list are still slowly getting done. I went to visit Sohee and the baby (precious!); I mailed a package to Soyoung in the United States; I bought some more apples, some eggs, some fresh bread. So many people hate the end of summer, but it is gearing up to be my favorite time of year. I love the feeling of winding down. I love when frenzied obligation fades and when life settles into its own peaceful track. Autumn is my favorite time of year, and I am (unlike most others) glad to see it coming all too early this year. Nipping summer off in the bud is rewarding because the splendor of the fall will be mine for more than the typical two and a half weeks that central Alberta tends to allot. I hope I will have two long and glorious months of fall to enjoy this year! I'm dreaming about hustling to nowhere through swishing piles of crunchy leaves. I'm dreaming of a torso warm beneath layers of copper, brown, and tawny clothes, with cheeks that sting with a rosy freshness. I'm dreaming of living vicariously through children with their clean new backpacks and just-opened Bic pens. I'm dreaming of cider, pumpkin pie, scarves, and late afternoon's slanted sunbeams.
Oh, autumn! I love it! And it's in my blood, for some reason--I adore this season and I know it is coming soon. Leaves outside my window are turning yellow and the nighttime air has a dry chill that whispers to me as I huddle down to sleep. Some nights I can hardly sleep, for the excitement of it all. I am like a little child counting sleeps till Christmas. But Autumn, she is perhaps more clever than Christmas; she, too, enjoys the element of surprise, and she'll keep me guessing about her arrival right till the very end. For now, I'll settle for guessing.
posted by daintee
at 12:45 PM
1
comments
Saturday, August 20, 2005
{ today's the day }
Well, the big day has finally arrived--Derek gets home tonight!! I have spent the last two days deep cleaning the rest of the house (minus the office, which will require a couple days by itself, I'm sure). I even de-mineralized the crud built up on Derek's standup glass shower. Last night our bedroom was so clean, it looked like a hotel room! There was a fresh breeze outside (the rainy week has finally come to an end), so I cracked open the window, put on some mood lighting, and had my indulgent night in. I put on my favorite pjs, brought the charged laptop into my fluffed bedsheets, and curled up to watch half of Season 1 of Grey's Anatomy that I had downloaded last week. I enjoyed myself so much that I ended up staying up till 3 am, having the most fun I've had in the past week.
Although I didn't get all of my to-do list done, I did end up finishing half of it (plus I took care of some other items, like sewing, that I hadn't put on the list). All in all, I think the most important thing I learned over this past week was how to be independent. I hauled inumerable pounds of garbage down two flights of stairs and hoisted them into the dumpster--by myself. I had an exciting day on the town, shopping for errands and for pleasure--by myself. Last night I had an enjoyable night in--by myself. Being without Derek has taught me that, indeed, I can do things on my own, if and when I have to.
But ... I still like life better with his company. And come tonight, I'll have my companion back!
Although I didn't get all of my to-do list done, I did end up finishing half of it (plus I took care of some other items, like sewing, that I hadn't put on the list). All in all, I think the most important thing I learned over this past week was how to be independent. I hauled inumerable pounds of garbage down two flights of stairs and hoisted them into the dumpster--by myself. I had an exciting day on the town, shopping for errands and for pleasure--by myself. Last night I had an enjoyable night in--by myself. Being without Derek has taught me that, indeed, I can do things on my own, if and when I have to.
But ... I still like life better with his company. And come tonight, I'll have my companion back!
posted by daintee
at 3:38 PM
1
comments
Friday, August 19, 2005
Thursday, August 18, 2005
{ the five idiosyncrasies meme }
Here I am to play a blog meme that has been circulating all over the place.
Five Idiosyncrasies of Mine:
1. I collect baby names books. Anytime I see one at a garage sale, I have to buy it. And I've spent many a rainy day just sitting and reading them, thinking of names for babies and story characters, and looking up the meanings of friends' names.
2. I cannot sleep properly until all three blankets (sheet, blanket, comforter) are perfectly smoothed and crisp and until the sheet is tugged out the top and folded down over the other two blankets. My mom used to make fun of me because of it when I lived at home, and now my husband makes fun of this obsession, too.
3. I love filing. I have devised all kinds of systems for filing almost anything in my life--bills, school records, lesson plans, recipe cards, blank greeting cards, you name it. I get such a thrill when I can take a big pile of crap and file everything into its own proper place.
4. Although I love popcorn and chocolate separately, my favorite is eating them in the perfect combination. I always eat alternate bits, because it honestly tastes BETTER that way. First, take a bite of chocolate, then take a bite of popcorn--it creates a new flavor all its own. It's my favorite movie snack flavor.
5. I cannot properly sit down and enjoy a magazine until all those little ads and coupons and postcards have been ripped out. In fact, sometimes I even rip out those stiff perfume pages, even when they're not the removable sort! I can't stand things that make a book or a magazine flip open to one certain page all the time--it drives me nuts.
And now, TAG! You're it! Whoever you are ... if you want to play along, respond in the comments section or leave your URL so that we can come visit ...
Five Idiosyncrasies of Mine:
1. I collect baby names books. Anytime I see one at a garage sale, I have to buy it. And I've spent many a rainy day just sitting and reading them, thinking of names for babies and story characters, and looking up the meanings of friends' names.
2. I cannot sleep properly until all three blankets (sheet, blanket, comforter) are perfectly smoothed and crisp and until the sheet is tugged out the top and folded down over the other two blankets. My mom used to make fun of me because of it when I lived at home, and now my husband makes fun of this obsession, too.
3. I love filing. I have devised all kinds of systems for filing almost anything in my life--bills, school records, lesson plans, recipe cards, blank greeting cards, you name it. I get such a thrill when I can take a big pile of crap and file everything into its own proper place.
4. Although I love popcorn and chocolate separately, my favorite is eating them in the perfect combination. I always eat alternate bits, because it honestly tastes BETTER that way. First, take a bite of chocolate, then take a bite of popcorn--it creates a new flavor all its own. It's my favorite movie snack flavor.
5. I cannot properly sit down and enjoy a magazine until all those little ads and coupons and postcards have been ripped out. In fact, sometimes I even rip out those stiff perfume pages, even when they're not the removable sort! I can't stand things that make a book or a magazine flip open to one certain page all the time--it drives me nuts.
And now, TAG! You're it! Whoever you are ... if you want to play along, respond in the comments section or leave your URL so that we can come visit ...
posted by daintee
at 1:21 PM
4
comments
{ and life, it keeps on rolling }
So, despite my little freak out a few days ago regarding what I want to do with my life, the day to day grind keeps me going. I sleep, I wake, I read, I write, I eat, I talk to friends, I drive here and there, all the while my head swimming with typical "what ifs" and "I wonders". Yesterday I accomplished number 10 on my to do list (Call public school board to check on the status of my application--it is in active status and could remain that way for the next couple of years as I wait for "the call") and today I was able to cross off number 7 (Visit my favorite bakery--I got a carrot and cream cheese muffin).
Aside from that, I've been working at my food services hospital job, mostly in the grill area, flipping burgers and arranging BLT sandwiches and chicken quesidillas. I always end up grumpy on my way to work, but somehow after work I'm always chuckling at the soap opera that consumes the hospital cafeteria workers. Everything is at least twenty times more dramatic than real life demands, and I have somewhat of a fly-on-the-wall view of the entire thing all the time. Today I heard about how a girl thought she locked herself in the walk-in freezer and (poor girl!) stayed in their shouting for 45 minutes before they found her, eyebrows white and ice-over, and helped her out. It was then that she discovered that the MASSIVE white push handle on the inside would have released her, had she thought to push it herself. Well, panic does funny things to people. I then had to put my own pride on the line and confess that I had once panicked when I thought I had locked myself into the dry storage room with the pickles and taco shells and mayo. I had twisted the door handle and pushed and shoved the door with all my might. Finally, I had to resort to banging and calling "Help!". A janitor finally found me and the door creeped open ... inwardly. It had been unlocked all along, but I have never thought to try and open it any other way than outwardly. How mortifying.
At any rate, the drama has been keeping me occupied these days and I appriciate not having to spend all my nights home alone. After work I joined my mom and sister to watch "Brat Camp" and "So You Think You Can Dance" and I finally arrived home just now, at nearly 2 AM, to open my inbox and find an email from Derek, who has emerged from the jungle with the team. Many monkey hugs and log-rafting adventures later, they are all fine, and I am told that some of the teens want to stay there forever, and never come home (I take it this is a good sign!).
Now that the clock is striking 2 AM I realize that if all goes according to plan, I will be seeing my darling husband again in exactly three days from now. I really can't wait. At first I missed him in a lovey-dovey, bleary-eyed sense, but now I am realizing that I am missing him in a deeper way. I miss his companionship, I miss telling him my funny work stories at night and bizarre nighttime dreams in the morning. I miss driving with him in the car (as opposed to taking the bus everywhere!). I miss his nerdy jokes, the way he fights to watch Star Trek while I am watching Dr. Phil (ha ha), the way we are able to share a whirlwind of a life together. And, I know, it's not like he's dead or anything--he'll be back in three days!--but I have still been missing these little things over the past week. I am very much looking forward to Sunday morning!
Aside from that, I've been working at my food services hospital job, mostly in the grill area, flipping burgers and arranging BLT sandwiches and chicken quesidillas. I always end up grumpy on my way to work, but somehow after work I'm always chuckling at the soap opera that consumes the hospital cafeteria workers. Everything is at least twenty times more dramatic than real life demands, and I have somewhat of a fly-on-the-wall view of the entire thing all the time. Today I heard about how a girl thought she locked herself in the walk-in freezer and (poor girl!) stayed in their shouting for 45 minutes before they found her, eyebrows white and ice-over, and helped her out. It was then that she discovered that the MASSIVE white push handle on the inside would have released her, had she thought to push it herself. Well, panic does funny things to people. I then had to put my own pride on the line and confess that I had once panicked when I thought I had locked myself into the dry storage room with the pickles and taco shells and mayo. I had twisted the door handle and pushed and shoved the door with all my might. Finally, I had to resort to banging and calling "Help!". A janitor finally found me and the door creeped open ... inwardly. It had been unlocked all along, but I have never thought to try and open it any other way than outwardly. How mortifying.
At any rate, the drama has been keeping me occupied these days and I appriciate not having to spend all my nights home alone. After work I joined my mom and sister to watch "Brat Camp" and "So You Think You Can Dance" and I finally arrived home just now, at nearly 2 AM, to open my inbox and find an email from Derek, who has emerged from the jungle with the team. Many monkey hugs and log-rafting adventures later, they are all fine, and I am told that some of the teens want to stay there forever, and never come home (I take it this is a good sign!).
Now that the clock is striking 2 AM I realize that if all goes according to plan, I will be seeing my darling husband again in exactly three days from now. I really can't wait. At first I missed him in a lovey-dovey, bleary-eyed sense, but now I am realizing that I am missing him in a deeper way. I miss his companionship, I miss telling him my funny work stories at night and bizarre nighttime dreams in the morning. I miss driving with him in the car (as opposed to taking the bus everywhere!). I miss his nerdy jokes, the way he fights to watch Star Trek while I am watching Dr. Phil (ha ha), the way we are able to share a whirlwind of a life together. And, I know, it's not like he's dead or anything--he'll be back in three days!--but I have still been missing these little things over the past week. I am very much looking forward to Sunday morning!
posted by daintee
at 1:45 AM
0
comments
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
{ on teaching and blogging }
Hey, this was my idea, over a year ago!
posted by daintee
at 10:28 AM
0
comments
Monday, August 15, 2005
{ the edge of the rest of my life }
These days I really have the feeling that I am standing on the verge of ... everything. I am at the end of my youth, my student life. I have graduated into the realm of real life and I have to decide where to lay my next steps. I have planned for years and years for this moment and now I am feeling completely overwhelmed. Is it better to go along with the planning, or to seize the day and do what feels right in this new moment?
I have always wanted to be a teacher. And yet, now, I am waiting, waiting, still waiting to even get interviewed by the school board so that I can hope to squeak into the horribly oversaturated school system as just another teacher. The first three years ahead of me are sure to be laden with the hardest work I have ever put into anything. During my nine week practicum this winter, I came home every day close to five and then put in a solid seven to nine hours work at home. I could hardly find the time to even speak to Derek in the evenings, I was so busy preparing, planning, marking, and organizing. He would do all the cooking and cleaning. I would chomp down some food and then head back into the office to plot out lessons and grades. At the end of every night I was so exhausted that I would throw my clothes on the bedroom floor and select a fresh outfit the next day. At the end of nine weeks pretty much everything I owned was lying in disorganized and wrinkled heaps on the floor. It took me nearly a month after my practicum had ended to get my life (my real life) back together again. And that was only a nine week trial of the real thing! Sometimes I can't even comprehend how I will make this work for the rest of my life (or, at least for the first few years while I settle into the groove).
Teaching is one of those jobs that is a true profession. When you sit down to dinner with your family, your mind still lingers on how little Timmy in 8D is having so much trouble with his thesis statements. As you lay your head down on your pillow at night, you subconsciously plot out a seating plan that will solve the behavior problems with the grade niners. It is a job that you can never leave at the end of the day. When you are a teacher, you must eat, sleep and breathe teaching (to be a good teacher, anyways).
Am I cut out for it? I have never been much of a career woman. I've always been a bit of a simpleton. I've always cared more about family than about anything else. These days I look forward to having children more than anything else in life. Am I cut out for this type of profession that will take so much of my life away from my family? Although school is an important part of life, it seems to have been blown so hugely out of proportion in some ways--school is NOT real life. In fact, it is far from it. There is nothing that I love more than sitting in the quiet and watching sunsets, gazing at stars, walking through river valleys and crunchy, leaf-strewn paths. If my mind is set on my career, I'm not sure if I will be able to find time for these things anymore.
However, I am still young and naive, and I have a warped view of what life is all about, perhaps. Those of you who are older and wiser, am I just blowing this all out of proportion? Can you be dedicated to a career and still truly enjoy life? Sometimes I wonder if I am not better off just getting a job to pay the bills--something nine to five, Monday to Friday--and yet then enjoying all the extra time that I have on my hands. Maybe I can write for pleasure! Or for publication, even! I can still be a dreamer! I have this perception that delving into a profession will stifle the dreamer within me ...
I am just so overwhelmed. I don't know what to think. Am I too romantic about life? I just watched Amélie last night, and I love the perspective that the movie takes concerning life. I feel like a kindred spirit to the protagonist, and I could only wish that my life could be that simple and pleasant. Sometimes I want to retreat to Paris, or the South Pacific, or Tibet, and just get away from the constraints of my own society.
Last night I went to a church service to hear one of my favorite preachers speak for the last time before he moves out east. He delivered a practical and motivating message: he challenged us to think that perhaps big things don't happen to big people who were always meant to be great; perhaps big, amazing things happen to people who have nothing but a hunch, or an inkling, and who decide to take a crazy risk to follow that hunch. He used himself as an example--he moved 2000 miles from Eastern Canada out here in the West with nothing but a hunch. He wanted to start a different kind of church for young people, something that had never really been tried before. He started in our city with 20 young people. In the course of three and a half years, the fellowship of people in their ministry grew astronomically, beyond his wildest dreams. Last night there were 1200 people there to applaud him off in his life's new direction. That tiny kernel of twenty people had multiplied to fill the entire auditorium to standing room only. He begged us not to make the mistake of thinking that he was someone huge and special; in fact, he shared, he is normal and small and nothing special. He is the same as you or me. His dream could be our dream. We could see the same things come to pass as he did. The stars did not align over him--instead, he took a chance on the small, whisper of a desire that he heard in his heart. And that one decision led to a cascading chain of events that ballooned into something better than he ever imagined.
He challenged us to walk outside last night and to see the parking lot of the church not as a place that would lead us home to bed. Instead, we should see it as the starting point to absolutely anywhere we wanted to go in life. Like him, we could get in our car in that parking lot and drive across the entire continent, if we so desired. We could get in our car on our cell phone and call a travel agent to book us a flight to Peru, if that's what we really wanted. Doorways are open all around us, and it is nothing more than OURSELVES that holds us back from seeing astronomical things happen in our own lives. People like Bill Gates and J.K. Rowling were sitting on billion dollar ventures and decided to listen to the tiny inklings in their hearts. He challenged us to listen closely and take the same kinds of chances. If so, we, ordinary people, could possibly see the same extraordinary things come to pass, as he had.
I was so inspired walking out of there. I literally did just gaze out at the parking lot for a minute, desperately trying to pinpoint where it was that I would go, if I really could go anywhere from there. I felt so unsure--my heartstrings were tugging in a million different directions. I have too many voices within me right now, each one coming from a different direction, that I'm not sure which voice is the small whisper coming from within my own quiet heart.
I'm just so terrified of making the wrong decision.
Who of you has been here in my situation and has emerged from it satisfied and blown away by where you are at in life right now? I would love to hear from you ... what are your regrets, your successes, your hard-earned pearls of wisdom? I feel like I could use a few of those right now ...
I have always wanted to be a teacher. And yet, now, I am waiting, waiting, still waiting to even get interviewed by the school board so that I can hope to squeak into the horribly oversaturated school system as just another teacher. The first three years ahead of me are sure to be laden with the hardest work I have ever put into anything. During my nine week practicum this winter, I came home every day close to five and then put in a solid seven to nine hours work at home. I could hardly find the time to even speak to Derek in the evenings, I was so busy preparing, planning, marking, and organizing. He would do all the cooking and cleaning. I would chomp down some food and then head back into the office to plot out lessons and grades. At the end of every night I was so exhausted that I would throw my clothes on the bedroom floor and select a fresh outfit the next day. At the end of nine weeks pretty much everything I owned was lying in disorganized and wrinkled heaps on the floor. It took me nearly a month after my practicum had ended to get my life (my real life) back together again. And that was only a nine week trial of the real thing! Sometimes I can't even comprehend how I will make this work for the rest of my life (or, at least for the first few years while I settle into the groove).
Teaching is one of those jobs that is a true profession. When you sit down to dinner with your family, your mind still lingers on how little Timmy in 8D is having so much trouble with his thesis statements. As you lay your head down on your pillow at night, you subconsciously plot out a seating plan that will solve the behavior problems with the grade niners. It is a job that you can never leave at the end of the day. When you are a teacher, you must eat, sleep and breathe teaching (to be a good teacher, anyways).
Am I cut out for it? I have never been much of a career woman. I've always been a bit of a simpleton. I've always cared more about family than about anything else. These days I look forward to having children more than anything else in life. Am I cut out for this type of profession that will take so much of my life away from my family? Although school is an important part of life, it seems to have been blown so hugely out of proportion in some ways--school is NOT real life. In fact, it is far from it. There is nothing that I love more than sitting in the quiet and watching sunsets, gazing at stars, walking through river valleys and crunchy, leaf-strewn paths. If my mind is set on my career, I'm not sure if I will be able to find time for these things anymore.
However, I am still young and naive, and I have a warped view of what life is all about, perhaps. Those of you who are older and wiser, am I just blowing this all out of proportion? Can you be dedicated to a career and still truly enjoy life? Sometimes I wonder if I am not better off just getting a job to pay the bills--something nine to five, Monday to Friday--and yet then enjoying all the extra time that I have on my hands. Maybe I can write for pleasure! Or for publication, even! I can still be a dreamer! I have this perception that delving into a profession will stifle the dreamer within me ...
I am just so overwhelmed. I don't know what to think. Am I too romantic about life? I just watched Amélie last night, and I love the perspective that the movie takes concerning life. I feel like a kindred spirit to the protagonist, and I could only wish that my life could be that simple and pleasant. Sometimes I want to retreat to Paris, or the South Pacific, or Tibet, and just get away from the constraints of my own society.
Last night I went to a church service to hear one of my favorite preachers speak for the last time before he moves out east. He delivered a practical and motivating message: he challenged us to think that perhaps big things don't happen to big people who were always meant to be great; perhaps big, amazing things happen to people who have nothing but a hunch, or an inkling, and who decide to take a crazy risk to follow that hunch. He used himself as an example--he moved 2000 miles from Eastern Canada out here in the West with nothing but a hunch. He wanted to start a different kind of church for young people, something that had never really been tried before. He started in our city with 20 young people. In the course of three and a half years, the fellowship of people in their ministry grew astronomically, beyond his wildest dreams. Last night there were 1200 people there to applaud him off in his life's new direction. That tiny kernel of twenty people had multiplied to fill the entire auditorium to standing room only. He begged us not to make the mistake of thinking that he was someone huge and special; in fact, he shared, he is normal and small and nothing special. He is the same as you or me. His dream could be our dream. We could see the same things come to pass as he did. The stars did not align over him--instead, he took a chance on the small, whisper of a desire that he heard in his heart. And that one decision led to a cascading chain of events that ballooned into something better than he ever imagined.
He challenged us to walk outside last night and to see the parking lot of the church not as a place that would lead us home to bed. Instead, we should see it as the starting point to absolutely anywhere we wanted to go in life. Like him, we could get in our car in that parking lot and drive across the entire continent, if we so desired. We could get in our car on our cell phone and call a travel agent to book us a flight to Peru, if that's what we really wanted. Doorways are open all around us, and it is nothing more than OURSELVES that holds us back from seeing astronomical things happen in our own lives. People like Bill Gates and J.K. Rowling were sitting on billion dollar ventures and decided to listen to the tiny inklings in their hearts. He challenged us to listen closely and take the same kinds of chances. If so, we, ordinary people, could possibly see the same extraordinary things come to pass, as he had.
I was so inspired walking out of there. I literally did just gaze out at the parking lot for a minute, desperately trying to pinpoint where it was that I would go, if I really could go anywhere from there. I felt so unsure--my heartstrings were tugging in a million different directions. I have too many voices within me right now, each one coming from a different direction, that I'm not sure which voice is the small whisper coming from within my own quiet heart.
I'm just so terrified of making the wrong decision.
Who of you has been here in my situation and has emerged from it satisfied and blown away by where you are at in life right now? I would love to hear from you ... what are your regrets, your successes, your hard-earned pearls of wisdom? I feel like I could use a few of those right now ...
posted by daintee
at 9:00 PM
4
comments
Saturday, August 13, 2005
{ the low point }
Today was the hardest day. I got another email from Derek and it just had so much of his voice in it that I couldn't help but cry for missing him. He sounds like he is having a blast and I am so regretful that I am not there with him. Going to bed alone tonight will be especially hard. The only consolations that I have are that (1) he will be home a week from right now and (2) I have been getting some of my to-do list done:
TO DO WHILE DEREK IS GONE:
1) Clean the house (the constant to-do list item).
2) Buy baby gifts for Soyoung and Sohee.
3) Run some old clothes to Goodwill. Look for a peasant-y skirt while I'm there.
4) Open my new espresso and freeze it (will this keep it fresh tasting, folks?). Clean old grounds out of the grinding machine.
5) Study some of the Korean language more in-depth.
6) Get my bike out and go for a spin.
7) Visit my favorite bakery.
8) Go to Staples and buy the great deal pleather binder for portfolio ($11.99).
9) Finish and fully compile my job portfolio.
10) Call public school board to check on the status of my application.
11) Pull weeds from flower pots. Sweep wasp carcasses off balcony.
12) Reorganize the office. Vacuum and arrange the new(-ish) rug.
13) Start reading Harry Potter 4 and/or The Life of Pi.
14) Make homemade lemonade from scratch (for the first time ever).
15) Cook something wonderful for myself and have an indulgent night "in".
Okay, so four out of fifteen ain't bad. Some of the others are harder to accomplish than I thought, especially considering that I don't have a car!! But I will try hard to get them done, too, before next Saturday.
Anyways, I am looking forward to going to church tomorrow morning--it will be something constant and regular in a week that has been anything but regular! It will be nice to see some of our friends and maybe have lunch together after.
Only 7 more days! I can do it!
TO DO WHILE DEREK IS GONE:
2) Buy baby gifts for Soyoung and Sohee.
3) Run some old clothes to Goodwill. Look for a peasant-y skirt while I'm there.
6) Get my bike out and go for a spin.
7) Visit my favorite bakery.
8) Go to Staples and buy the great deal pleather binder for portfolio ($11.99).
9) Finish and fully compile my job portfolio.
10) Call public school board to check on the status of my application.
12) Reorganize the office. Vacuum and arrange the new(-ish) rug.
13) Start reading Harry Potter 4 and/or The Life of Pi.
14) Make homemade lemonade from scratch (for the first time ever).
15) Cook something wonderful for myself and have an indulgent night "in".
Okay, so four out of fifteen ain't bad. Some of the others are harder to accomplish than I thought, especially considering that I don't have a car!! But I will try hard to get them done, too, before next Saturday.
Anyways, I am looking forward to going to church tomorrow morning--it will be something constant and regular in a week that has been anything but regular! It will be nice to see some of our friends and maybe have lunch together after.
Only 7 more days! I can do it!
posted by daintee
at 11:40 PM
1
comments
Friday, August 12, 2005
{ from the jungle }
I received two letters home this morning from Derek; one was personal, one was a massive group email. In the personal one he let me know that:
I'm literally sitting in the middle of jungle with crazy birds, monkeys, etc all around and craaaazy heat!! It feels like real rainforest here with
crazy tall trees, vines, etc.
Here is the group one, for interest's sake, so you can see what they've been up to:
Hello everyone!
Greetings from Panama!
It is day 2 in panama and we are all safe and happy to be here! The team has a lot of energy and seems to be adjusting well. Especially Angela who has more energy than I've ever seen in my life and has met the nearly 60 other locals on the base and become best friends with all of them! Our first day here we spent adjusting to the climate which is very hot and humid. About +35 degrees with crazy humidity. Around 2pm we had a massive tropical rainstorm that lasted 20 minutes then was sunny again. We spent the day practicing our dramas and getting ready for the rest of our time here. In the evening we had a powerful service with worship, preaching and a re-enactment of the crucifixion in the jungle.
Today we are heading to a local market area where we will be performing dramas and testimonies with hundereds of people. It should be a great experience for us and them, especially since this is the first major outreach. Tomorrow we will traveling to a poorer area to work with kids, perform the dramas, puppet shows and testimonies. On sunday, we are going to a local church (which just happens to be located right beside the Panama canal) and will be doing much (if not most) of the service. Sunday afternoon and monday we will be constructing things around the base here for the local children and staff. On tuesday and wednesday we head up river to the villages to reach out to the indigenous people groups. It should be a fun and stretching experience as we will be sleeping in grass huts during our visit. On thursday, we will be visiting a prison to show the Jesus video to prisoners and share dramas and testimonies. On friday, we will have a tourism day and will be visiting the panama canal, a local market and the ocean. On saturday, we head back home.
So thank you for keeping us in your prayers, and please keep on continuing to do so, so that the trip can continue to be as amazing as it has been so far.
From,
Derek and the Team
Sigh. It's nice just to hear from them. It totally made my day!
I'm literally sitting in the middle of jungle with crazy birds, monkeys, etc all around and craaaazy heat!! It feels like real rainforest here with
crazy tall trees, vines, etc.
Here is the group one, for interest's sake, so you can see what they've been up to:
Hello everyone!
Greetings from Panama!
It is day 2 in panama and we are all safe and happy to be here! The team has a lot of energy and seems to be adjusting well. Especially Angela who has more energy than I've ever seen in my life and has met the nearly 60 other locals on the base and become best friends with all of them! Our first day here we spent adjusting to the climate which is very hot and humid. About +35 degrees with crazy humidity. Around 2pm we had a massive tropical rainstorm that lasted 20 minutes then was sunny again. We spent the day practicing our dramas and getting ready for the rest of our time here. In the evening we had a powerful service with worship, preaching and a re-enactment of the crucifixion in the jungle.
Today we are heading to a local market area where we will be performing dramas and testimonies with hundereds of people. It should be a great experience for us and them, especially since this is the first major outreach. Tomorrow we will traveling to a poorer area to work with kids, perform the dramas, puppet shows and testimonies. On sunday, we are going to a local church (which just happens to be located right beside the Panama canal) and will be doing much (if not most) of the service. Sunday afternoon and monday we will be constructing things around the base here for the local children and staff. On tuesday and wednesday we head up river to the villages to reach out to the indigenous people groups. It should be a fun and stretching experience as we will be sleeping in grass huts during our visit. On thursday, we will be visiting a prison to show the Jesus video to prisoners and share dramas and testimonies. On friday, we will have a tourism day and will be visiting the panama canal, a local market and the ocean. On saturday, we head back home.
So thank you for keeping us in your prayers, and please keep on continuing to do so, so that the trip can continue to be as amazing as it has been so far.
From,
Derek and the Team
Sigh. It's nice just to hear from them. It totally made my day!
posted by daintee
at 11:00 AM
1
comments
Thursday, August 11, 2005
{ i'm all about lists }
TO DO WHILE DEREK IS GONE:
1) Clean the house (the constant to-do list item).
2) Buy baby gifts for Soyoung and Sohee.
3) Run some old clothes to Goodwill. Look for a peasant-y skirt while I'm there.
4) Open my new espresso and freeze it (will this keep it fresh tasting, folks?). Clean old grounds out of the grinding machine.
5) Study some of the Korean language more in-depth.
6) Get my bike out and go for a spin.
7) Visit my favorite bakery.
8) Go to staples and buy the great deal pleather binder for portfolio ($11.99).
9) Finish and fully compile my job portfolio.
10) Call public school board to check on the status of my application.
11) Pull weeds from flower pots. Sweep wasp carcasses off balcony.
12) Reorganize the office. Vacuum and arrange the new(-ish) rug.
13) Start reading Harry Potter 4 and/or The Life of Pi.
14) Make homemade lemonade from scratch (for the first time ever).
15) Cook something wonderful for myself and have an indulgent night "in".
Any other suggestions? What do you do when you are bored or lonely? Or if you are never bored or lonely (life is chaotic sometimes, I know!), then what do you dream of doing in your make-believe time to yourself? I'd love to know. Perhaps you can live vicariously through me over the next ten days ...
1) Clean the house (the constant to-do list item).
2) Buy baby gifts for Soyoung and Sohee.
3) Run some old clothes to Goodwill. Look for a peasant-y skirt while I'm there.
4) Open my new espresso and freeze it (will this keep it fresh tasting, folks?). Clean old grounds out of the grinding machine.
5) Study some of the Korean language more in-depth.
6) Get my bike out and go for a spin.
7) Visit my favorite bakery.
8) Go to staples and buy the great deal pleather binder for portfolio ($11.99).
9) Finish and fully compile my job portfolio.
10) Call public school board to check on the status of my application.
11) Pull weeds from flower pots. Sweep wasp carcasses off balcony.
12) Reorganize the office. Vacuum and arrange the new(-ish) rug.
13) Start reading Harry Potter 4 and/or The Life of Pi.
14) Make homemade lemonade from scratch (for the first time ever).
15) Cook something wonderful for myself and have an indulgent night "in".
Any other suggestions? What do you do when you are bored or lonely? Or if you are never bored or lonely (life is chaotic sometimes, I know!), then what do you dream of doing in your make-believe time to yourself? I'd love to know. Perhaps you can live vicariously through me over the next ten days ...
posted by daintee
at 10:02 AM
1
comments
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
{ my heart wanders }
If home is where the heart is, my home is wandering around somewhere in Panama right now, with Derek.
The last I saw of him was last night at 10 pm when I, with my parents in their car, dropped him off at the church to meet up with the rest of the missions team. They did some last minute packing and traveled to the airport to stand in various lines. Their flight took off at around 6 AM this morning, flying first to Houston, then Miami, then finally Panama City. I won't see him again until next Sunday, sometime in the wee hours of the morning, at the earliest. It's not the first time we've been apart (he went to Africa for 2 months while we were dating and to Africa again last summer for 1 month); it's only 11 days this time, but it still isn't any easier.
I spent last night at my family's house for the simple convenience of hitching a ride to work with my mom this morning at 8 AM. I slept in the house that I lived in for my entire non-married life, but it didn't really feel like home. Derek and I have our own home now. My dad just dropped me off after a night of pizza and reality tv with my family, and in a way it feels good to be "home". But in another strange way, it feels like it's not home at all--not without Derek.
I try so hard to be strong and independent. I tell myself that I'm a modern woman who can make it on my own. I'm intelligent, diligent, mature, and stubborn. Why shouldn't I be able to do it on my own? Well, it's not really that I can't do it--it's more that I won't. I've spent the last two years and two months figuring out how to successfully merge my life with the life of the boy I love. It takes a lot of effort and struggle, but we're getting the hang of our life together. We've picked up on each other's rhythms, habits, needs, urges, and pains. I've gotten used to falling asleep to the sound of his CDs (which I hate). I've memorized how to find his feet in the dark beneath the covers with my wriggling, chilly toes. I've realized that I wake up several times a night not because I'm a light sleeper but because I'm semi-consciously checking for him; I feel for him across the mattress, I listen to him breathe. In the morning I've learned to set my alarm by his schedule and serve as his double-checker for getting to work on time. He adds such joy, purpose, intimacy, and overall completion to my life. Even eleven days apart is torture.
Have I told you much about my husband, ever? I know I purposely have not; I have left out the fact that he, by profession, is a full-time pastor. "We" work at a Korean church with the English ministry (mainly Canadian-born youth and young adults). My husband has a deep love for God--he loves to worship, to help others, and mostly, to live out a life of love. I have never mentioned his job before mainly because it doesn't matter to me. He is who is is, despite his career. I don't see Derek as anyone but Derek. He is defined by the integrity of his character and the quality of his love, not by what he does for a living.
At any rate, this eleven day trip he is on is a short-term missions trip to introduce some kids (aged 13-18) to the world at large, and to stretch them into places outside of their current comfort zones. I've stayed behind to continue the job-search in teaching. Both Derek and I crossed our fingers as we hugged goodbye, hoping that I will have some sort of good news to share with him by the time he gets home. For now, we are still playing the same old waiting game.
Sometimes it's hard to think about what he will be experiencing over the next eleven days compared to me. To be honest, I am a bit jealous yet again; at the same time, however, it was my decision to stay back, and I will hold to it. I am excited to hear all the stories and see the pictures and videos when he's home again. I can live the adventure through his eyes--at least to a tiny extent. And I can start dreaming about the next trip, the one we will be able to take together.
Until his return, however, I will feel a little cold and lonely in our double bed at night. I will miss the late-night hum of the tv and the sound of his laughter mingling with Jay Leno's droning voice. I know for certain that my ears will still perk up around 5:30 PM when I hear the jingle of keys in the hallway outside our condo door.
Tonight I think I may even have to fall asleep to the sounds of his silly CDs that I hate so much.
The last I saw of him was last night at 10 pm when I, with my parents in their car, dropped him off at the church to meet up with the rest of the missions team. They did some last minute packing and traveled to the airport to stand in various lines. Their flight took off at around 6 AM this morning, flying first to Houston, then Miami, then finally Panama City. I won't see him again until next Sunday, sometime in the wee hours of the morning, at the earliest. It's not the first time we've been apart (he went to Africa for 2 months while we were dating and to Africa again last summer for 1 month); it's only 11 days this time, but it still isn't any easier.
I spent last night at my family's house for the simple convenience of hitching a ride to work with my mom this morning at 8 AM. I slept in the house that I lived in for my entire non-married life, but it didn't really feel like home. Derek and I have our own home now. My dad just dropped me off after a night of pizza and reality tv with my family, and in a way it feels good to be "home". But in another strange way, it feels like it's not home at all--not without Derek.
I try so hard to be strong and independent. I tell myself that I'm a modern woman who can make it on my own. I'm intelligent, diligent, mature, and stubborn. Why shouldn't I be able to do it on my own? Well, it's not really that I can't do it--it's more that I won't. I've spent the last two years and two months figuring out how to successfully merge my life with the life of the boy I love. It takes a lot of effort and struggle, but we're getting the hang of our life together. We've picked up on each other's rhythms, habits, needs, urges, and pains. I've gotten used to falling asleep to the sound of his CDs (which I hate). I've memorized how to find his feet in the dark beneath the covers with my wriggling, chilly toes. I've realized that I wake up several times a night not because I'm a light sleeper but because I'm semi-consciously checking for him; I feel for him across the mattress, I listen to him breathe. In the morning I've learned to set my alarm by his schedule and serve as his double-checker for getting to work on time. He adds such joy, purpose, intimacy, and overall completion to my life. Even eleven days apart is torture.
Have I told you much about my husband, ever? I know I purposely have not; I have left out the fact that he, by profession, is a full-time pastor. "We" work at a Korean church with the English ministry (mainly Canadian-born youth and young adults). My husband has a deep love for God--he loves to worship, to help others, and mostly, to live out a life of love. I have never mentioned his job before mainly because it doesn't matter to me. He is who is is, despite his career. I don't see Derek as anyone but Derek. He is defined by the integrity of his character and the quality of his love, not by what he does for a living.
At any rate, this eleven day trip he is on is a short-term missions trip to introduce some kids (aged 13-18) to the world at large, and to stretch them into places outside of their current comfort zones. I've stayed behind to continue the job-search in teaching. Both Derek and I crossed our fingers as we hugged goodbye, hoping that I will have some sort of good news to share with him by the time he gets home. For now, we are still playing the same old waiting game.
Sometimes it's hard to think about what he will be experiencing over the next eleven days compared to me. To be honest, I am a bit jealous yet again; at the same time, however, it was my decision to stay back, and I will hold to it. I am excited to hear all the stories and see the pictures and videos when he's home again. I can live the adventure through his eyes--at least to a tiny extent. And I can start dreaming about the next trip, the one we will be able to take together.
Until his return, however, I will feel a little cold and lonely in our double bed at night. I will miss the late-night hum of the tv and the sound of his laughter mingling with Jay Leno's droning voice. I know for certain that my ears will still perk up around 5:30 PM when I hear the jingle of keys in the hallway outside our condo door.
Tonight I think I may even have to fall asleep to the sounds of his silly CDs that I hate so much.
posted by daintee
at 10:57 PM
3
comments
Monday, August 08, 2005
{ great news!!!!!!! }
I just got home from work and was greeted with two pieces of really great news:
One--Sohee had her baby!!! AAH! I can't believe it!! Tae Yang Kim, a perfectly healthy baby boy, was born on Friday, weighing in at 5.11 lbs. He was 13 days early but was welcomed into the world by a mom and a dad who could not possibly be any happier. They were ecstatic to meet the baby they have been wanting for so long! I can't wait to meet him too.
Two--much more minor in scale (but great nevertheless): the exterminator came today. There are wasp carcasses littering my balcony and a white-ish powder coating parts of the roof and wall. I'll wait another day before I head out there in case there are any lingering little buggers, but tomorrow the balcony will once again be mine, all mine!!
Well, there is another, more detailed entry to come after I collect my happy thoughts and settle myself down enough to write something of substance!
A baby!! Yay! I can hardly concentrate on anything else!!!
One--Sohee had her baby!!! AAH! I can't believe it!! Tae Yang Kim, a perfectly healthy baby boy, was born on Friday, weighing in at 5.11 lbs. He was 13 days early but was welcomed into the world by a mom and a dad who could not possibly be any happier. They were ecstatic to meet the baby they have been wanting for so long! I can't wait to meet him too.
Two--much more minor in scale (but great nevertheless): the exterminator came today. There are wasp carcasses littering my balcony and a white-ish powder coating parts of the roof and wall. I'll wait another day before I head out there in case there are any lingering little buggers, but tomorrow the balcony will once again be mine, all mine!!
Well, there is another, more detailed entry to come after I collect my happy thoughts and settle myself down enough to write something of substance!
A baby!! Yay! I can hardly concentrate on anything else!!!
posted by daintee
at 7:28 PM
0
comments
Thursday, August 04, 2005
{ attack of the wasps }
I discovered something distressing yesterday as I was sitting on the patio eating my pita sandwich after my workout: we have wasps.
Sigh, yes, it's official, the wasps have moved into the roof and siding and walls of our condo, right at our unit. Of course, they couldn't have moved into the units of any of the other people who NEVER use their decks; no, they had to choose ours, since we use and enjoy our patio all the time. They are obnoxiously intimidating, with their buzzing and aggressive movements that will eventually lead to stinging (or is it biting? I can never remember).
Last week I found a wasp inside our living room. I couldn't figure out how it had gotten there since the windows hadn't been opened all day. However, I shrugged it off, figuring Derek must have let it in the screen door, and I caught it in a cup and threw it back outside.
Last night while we slept, however, another wasp suddenly appeared out of nowhere. When I woke up, it was there to greet me in the living room, again. Oh no! I thought. They are getting in somehow! Maybe they've chewed through our wall and are coming in through the cupboard! I examined the ceiling and the walls but couldn't see any cracks or holes. Derek had to calm me, telling me that it hadn't eaten its way in but had likely snuck in the patio door while we weren't looking. I didn't quite buy it, but I let the issue rest as we also laid the wasp to rest with a hearty flyer swat. I checked the whole condo over before Derek and I left for work.
"There," I said, matter-of-factly. "There are officially no wasps in this condo. If we come home and see one, then we know it's getting in somehow."
"Okay," he agreed.
We clamped all the windows and doors tightly shut and went on our merry way.
On arriving home again today, there it was--another lone wasp--hovering around our kitchen sink. Derek claims it must have been in here all along, but frankly, I think they are making their way in somehow! And it is very disconcerting!!
At any rate, we spoke to our condo manager and she acted very swiftly. Slipped under our door this afternoon was a notice. It reads:
24 HOUR NOTICE TO ENTER SUITE
TO: ___Derek and Lisa___
DATE: __August 4, 2005___
DEAR VALUED RESIDENT,
WE WOULD LIKE TO NOTIFY YOU THAT MANAGEMENT/MAINTENANCE WILL BE ENTERING YOUR SUITE ON ___MONDAY, AUGUST 8, 2005___ BETWEEN THE HOURS OF ___9AM AND 5PM___ TO:
___ SHOW YOUR SUITE TO PROSPECTIVE TENANTS
___ INSPECT OR DO REPAIRS IN THE SUITE
_X_ OTHER: ___to go on the balcony to get rid of the wasps___
THANKING YOU IN ANTICIPATION OF YOUR CO-OPERATION IN THIS MATTER.
MANAGEMENT.
Haha! I found the notice a little comedic, despite its serious nature. I love how the "Other" reason was typed in to sound official--I don't think it sounds that official anyways, do you?
Anyways, I will keep you posted on the status of the wasps and our balcony. In the meantime, I still have to brave the pests tonight to get out there and water my withering flowers! Wish me luck!! (crosses fingers)
Sigh, yes, it's official, the wasps have moved into the roof and siding and walls of our condo, right at our unit. Of course, they couldn't have moved into the units of any of the other people who NEVER use their decks; no, they had to choose ours, since we use and enjoy our patio all the time. They are obnoxiously intimidating, with their buzzing and aggressive movements that will eventually lead to stinging (or is it biting? I can never remember).
Last week I found a wasp inside our living room. I couldn't figure out how it had gotten there since the windows hadn't been opened all day. However, I shrugged it off, figuring Derek must have let it in the screen door, and I caught it in a cup and threw it back outside.
Last night while we slept, however, another wasp suddenly appeared out of nowhere. When I woke up, it was there to greet me in the living room, again. Oh no! I thought. They are getting in somehow! Maybe they've chewed through our wall and are coming in through the cupboard! I examined the ceiling and the walls but couldn't see any cracks or holes. Derek had to calm me, telling me that it hadn't eaten its way in but had likely snuck in the patio door while we weren't looking. I didn't quite buy it, but I let the issue rest as we also laid the wasp to rest with a hearty flyer swat. I checked the whole condo over before Derek and I left for work.
"There," I said, matter-of-factly. "There are officially no wasps in this condo. If we come home and see one, then we know it's getting in somehow."
"Okay," he agreed.
We clamped all the windows and doors tightly shut and went on our merry way.
On arriving home again today, there it was--another lone wasp--hovering around our kitchen sink. Derek claims it must have been in here all along, but frankly, I think they are making their way in somehow! And it is very disconcerting!!
At any rate, we spoke to our condo manager and she acted very swiftly. Slipped under our door this afternoon was a notice. It reads:
24 HOUR NOTICE TO ENTER SUITE
TO: ___Derek and Lisa___
DATE: __August 4, 2005___
DEAR VALUED RESIDENT,
WE WOULD LIKE TO NOTIFY YOU THAT MANAGEMENT/MAINTENANCE WILL BE ENTERING YOUR SUITE ON ___MONDAY, AUGUST 8, 2005___ BETWEEN THE HOURS OF ___9AM AND 5PM___ TO:
___ SHOW YOUR SUITE TO PROSPECTIVE TENANTS
___ INSPECT OR DO REPAIRS IN THE SUITE
_X_ OTHER: ___to go on the balcony to get rid of the wasps___
THANKING YOU IN ANTICIPATION OF YOUR CO-OPERATION IN THIS MATTER.
MANAGEMENT.
Haha! I found the notice a little comedic, despite its serious nature. I love how the "Other" reason was typed in to sound official--I don't think it sounds that official anyways, do you?
Anyways, I will keep you posted on the status of the wasps and our balcony. In the meantime, I still have to brave the pests tonight to get out there and water my withering flowers! Wish me luck!! (crosses fingers)
posted by daintee
at 7:14 PM
3
comments
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
{ taking back my life }
I feel empowered this morning! I feel like a woman in control, a woman who knows what she wants and who has a plan of action to get there.
Don't ever be surprised by the power of the little things in life. For example, over the past few months I have begun noticing that the majority of my pants have gone from baggy to perfectly-fitting to snug to way-too-tight-for-public. For weeks and months I agonized over what to do. I couldn't afford to get a gym membership like most of my other female friends. I don't like jogging because all the rest of my family has a major history of knee problems and arthritis (I'm trying to stave those problems off as long as possible). I played the victim for too long and told myself that this was just how things would have to be from now on. I even went and bought a pair of bigger jeans.
But today I'd had enough. I decided to do something about the situation. I got out my makeshift exercise mat (my fleece blanket folded in half). I loaded up my MP3 player with a good mix of mellow (Coldplay) and energizing music (Kelly Clarkson's new stuff). I decided on my new exercise regimen as I went along, doing leg lifts, squats, lunges, sit ups, air-bicycling, v-sits, and various other thigh-glut-ab exercises. At first I was grumpy about it--after all, exercise is not a nice thing to do after having not done it since high school P.E. But, as my song list progressed from mood music to catchy dance music and rock n' roll, I found myself getting into it. I pushed past the burn and did more than I thought I physically would have been able to. Two jellowy legs later, I found that I had actually worked up an appetite. Usually I wake up, eat something loaded with sugar, and then do very little. But all my exercise had me craving a more satisfying lunch. Luckily, we had loaded up on some nice fresh deli things at the store last night, so I made myself a loaded whole wheat pita sandwhich with turkey, cucumber, cream cheese, and alphalfa sprouts. Topped that up with a glass of milk on the patio outside while I sat, grinning, feeling good about myself, and actually looking forward to work tonight. As an aside: it's funny, but I think that working allows you to actually enjoy more of life. On the days when I don't work, I sit around lazily, griping and most often feeling headachy and bored to tears. On the days I work, however, I snatch up every spare instant I can. I am productive, and I have a zest for life that escapes me on my days off.
Tonight I have a short 4 hour shift at the ice cream bar to get through, and then we have a possible outing for cheap Wednesday Wings to look forward to. If that's not a go, then at least Derek and I will have a sunny evening and another gorgeous sunset to enjoy together.
Don't ever be surprised by the power of the little things in life. For example, over the past few months I have begun noticing that the majority of my pants have gone from baggy to perfectly-fitting to snug to way-too-tight-for-public. For weeks and months I agonized over what to do. I couldn't afford to get a gym membership like most of my other female friends. I don't like jogging because all the rest of my family has a major history of knee problems and arthritis (I'm trying to stave those problems off as long as possible). I played the victim for too long and told myself that this was just how things would have to be from now on. I even went and bought a pair of bigger jeans.
But today I'd had enough. I decided to do something about the situation. I got out my makeshift exercise mat (my fleece blanket folded in half). I loaded up my MP3 player with a good mix of mellow (Coldplay) and energizing music (Kelly Clarkson's new stuff). I decided on my new exercise regimen as I went along, doing leg lifts, squats, lunges, sit ups, air-bicycling, v-sits, and various other thigh-glut-ab exercises. At first I was grumpy about it--after all, exercise is not a nice thing to do after having not done it since high school P.E. But, as my song list progressed from mood music to catchy dance music and rock n' roll, I found myself getting into it. I pushed past the burn and did more than I thought I physically would have been able to. Two jellowy legs later, I found that I had actually worked up an appetite. Usually I wake up, eat something loaded with sugar, and then do very little. But all my exercise had me craving a more satisfying lunch. Luckily, we had loaded up on some nice fresh deli things at the store last night, so I made myself a loaded whole wheat pita sandwhich with turkey, cucumber, cream cheese, and alphalfa sprouts. Topped that up with a glass of milk on the patio outside while I sat, grinning, feeling good about myself, and actually looking forward to work tonight. As an aside: it's funny, but I think that working allows you to actually enjoy more of life. On the days when I don't work, I sit around lazily, griping and most often feeling headachy and bored to tears. On the days I work, however, I snatch up every spare instant I can. I am productive, and I have a zest for life that escapes me on my days off.
Tonight I have a short 4 hour shift at the ice cream bar to get through, and then we have a possible outing for cheap Wednesday Wings to look forward to. If that's not a go, then at least Derek and I will have a sunny evening and another gorgeous sunset to enjoy together.
posted by daintee
at 1:26 PM
2
comments
Monday, August 01, 2005
{ a day of simple pleasures }
So, we spent the day at the lake. I would have taken my camera on board to get some lovely photos, but frankly, I was too afraid that it would get wet or fall in the water altogether. So the camera did not accompany us on the lake trip. But we had a blast! There were six of us altogether--three couples--and one 19 month old baby boy (he's a darling). We stopped at the local Sobey's to pick out treats to enjoy once aboard--bottled water, cranberry-raspberry pop, crisp red grapes, veggie flavored pita bread with cream cheese and deli meat and sprouts. Oh, and don't forget the Lays and Doritos--those are a given.
We all crammed into the cab of a pickup truck and made the twenty minute drive, listening to the ecclectic Garden State Soundtrack on the way. Once at the lake, we launched into the water immediately (to be precise, the boys launched the boat while we girls and baby boy sat in the boat, chatting and giggling).
On the lake we enjoyed our snacks and picnic lunch. We also listened to the old mix tape that we listen to every single time we're in the boat--it's about a 1994 original. Ha! Jordan did some wakeboarding tricks while we clapped and whistled. We zoomed by the cows that were feeding on hillside of the valley, and we passed an entire flock of pelicans--I've never seen so many in my life! Life's simplistic pleasures abounded this afternoon, and I just revelled in them while I could.
Unfortunately, a thunderstorm rolled in around five o'clock and we had to call it a day. We had some more nice chit-chat on the way home (and homemade chocolate chip cookies, care of Giselle), and helped unload the boat before we all went our separate ways.
Once home, Derek and I kicked back and relaxed in our own respective ways. He took a nap and I took my habitual bath, washing away the residual sunscreen (only to discover the sunburn that lurked underneath! How did that happen?). I began getting a migraine this evening so I begged Derek to come for a walk in the rain with me--the fresh air would do me some good. He obliged, and we went around the neighborhood, taking the long route, which suited me just fine. The chilly rain pelted down on my head, slithering between my strands of hair, and felt sooo good on my headache. Meanwhile, poor Derek was drenched from head to toe in nothing but his t-shirt and sweats. It was my turn to humor him, so we headed back to the comforts of our cozy (though stuffy) condo.
Now, sitting at the computer, I am reminded of all the simple pleasures of the day--a pita picnic, a baby's smile, cows on a hillside, rain in my hair. I wonder what marvelous things tomorrow could possibly hold. So far all I have planned is an uneventful morning before a long afternoon and evening of work. However, I'm sure that something wonderful will present itself in front of me before the day is out.
We all crammed into the cab of a pickup truck and made the twenty minute drive, listening to the ecclectic Garden State Soundtrack on the way. Once at the lake, we launched into the water immediately (to be precise, the boys launched the boat while we girls and baby boy sat in the boat, chatting and giggling).
On the lake we enjoyed our snacks and picnic lunch. We also listened to the old mix tape that we listen to every single time we're in the boat--it's about a 1994 original. Ha! Jordan did some wakeboarding tricks while we clapped and whistled. We zoomed by the cows that were feeding on hillside of the valley, and we passed an entire flock of pelicans--I've never seen so many in my life! Life's simplistic pleasures abounded this afternoon, and I just revelled in them while I could.
Unfortunately, a thunderstorm rolled in around five o'clock and we had to call it a day. We had some more nice chit-chat on the way home (and homemade chocolate chip cookies, care of Giselle), and helped unload the boat before we all went our separate ways.
Once home, Derek and I kicked back and relaxed in our own respective ways. He took a nap and I took my habitual bath, washing away the residual sunscreen (only to discover the sunburn that lurked underneath! How did that happen?). I began getting a migraine this evening so I begged Derek to come for a walk in the rain with me--the fresh air would do me some good. He obliged, and we went around the neighborhood, taking the long route, which suited me just fine. The chilly rain pelted down on my head, slithering between my strands of hair, and felt sooo good on my headache. Meanwhile, poor Derek was drenched from head to toe in nothing but his t-shirt and sweats. It was my turn to humor him, so we headed back to the comforts of our cozy (though stuffy) condo.
Now, sitting at the computer, I am reminded of all the simple pleasures of the day--a pita picnic, a baby's smile, cows on a hillside, rain in my hair. I wonder what marvelous things tomorrow could possibly hold. So far all I have planned is an uneventful morning before a long afternoon and evening of work. However, I'm sure that something wonderful will present itself in front of me before the day is out.
posted by daintee
at 9:42 PM
3
comments
{ long weekend lulls }
This long weekend has already been a bizarre one. Poor Derek has worked every single day of this long weekend, to say the least. Because of that, our plans have been somewhat altered, and all our weekendish wishes must be pushed back, more and more, to accomodate meetings. I suppose I shall insert sigh here.
Nevertheless, we were able to enjoy a family barbeque last night with my family and my grandparents (mother's side). We were pleasantly surprised with garlicky roast pork tenderloin, homemade buffalo chicken wings, grilled corn on the cob, baked potatoes and baked beans. Not to mention three choices of dessert. Grandparents are the best, aren't they? It was the feast of the summer, and I'm quite sure that nothing I make this August will steal its reigning title! So, it will be memorable for quite some while.
Today, this Heritage Day Monday, we have planned a lake day with Derek's cousins again. We weren't able to get out there bright and early, though, because of the meetings and such; Derek has just gotten home and is trying to gain back his disrupted "sleep in" time. Instead, we will do a lazy late afternoon and evening night out on the waters of the quiet valley-lake. This lake is long and narrow, and stretches out like a no-flowing river for 8 miles. Perfect for wakeboarding, which Jordan and Derek enjoy. I myself prefer gentle rocking to speed, but who am I to pass up any opportunity to get on that boat. I will have to pull out my silly safari hat again, and deck myself out in sunglasses and sunscreen, as is my custom. I am still debating what to wear--I am concerned about both the extreme heat (can't wear anything with too-long sleeves) and about getting sunburn (I am leery of wearing a tanktop for this reason). Do thoughts like this ever cross a boy's mind? I doubt it.
Anyways, an hour more, and we're off! I'll let you know all about it later!
Nevertheless, we were able to enjoy a family barbeque last night with my family and my grandparents (mother's side). We were pleasantly surprised with garlicky roast pork tenderloin, homemade buffalo chicken wings, grilled corn on the cob, baked potatoes and baked beans. Not to mention three choices of dessert. Grandparents are the best, aren't they? It was the feast of the summer, and I'm quite sure that nothing I make this August will steal its reigning title! So, it will be memorable for quite some while.
Today, this Heritage Day Monday, we have planned a lake day with Derek's cousins again. We weren't able to get out there bright and early, though, because of the meetings and such; Derek has just gotten home and is trying to gain back his disrupted "sleep in" time. Instead, we will do a lazy late afternoon and evening night out on the waters of the quiet valley-lake. This lake is long and narrow, and stretches out like a no-flowing river for 8 miles. Perfect for wakeboarding, which Jordan and Derek enjoy. I myself prefer gentle rocking to speed, but who am I to pass up any opportunity to get on that boat. I will have to pull out my silly safari hat again, and deck myself out in sunglasses and sunscreen, as is my custom. I am still debating what to wear--I am concerned about both the extreme heat (can't wear anything with too-long sleeves) and about getting sunburn (I am leery of wearing a tanktop for this reason). Do thoughts like this ever cross a boy's mind? I doubt it.
Anyways, an hour more, and we're off! I'll let you know all about it later!
posted by daintee
at 12:00 PM
1
comments