{ Five Things }

A meme, as taken from Peter's amusing post at slow reads.

Five Things You Might Not Know About Me

1. I've only ever kissed one person in my whole life--I'm not even entirely sure what another human being's lips would taste or feel like. I choose to look at this as an advantage and not a disadvantage.

2. I am not a good singer. I am convinced that I am better now than I used to be, but I used to think I was quite a diva. I would sing in the car, and my mom, in her lovingly forward way, would advise me to not sing in front of other people. I caught the hint that she thought I was not a very good singer. Of course, at the age of fourteen, I was highly offended. I figured, in my arrogance, that I would prove my mother wrong by tape recording a rendition of my favorite song--a popular Celine Dion song at the time. It had all the runs and scales in it, which I was convinced I had mastered. I waited until everyone left the house, and I rigged a high quality microphone to the family stereo, popped in my cassette tape, and sang along loudly. I was smug as I rewinded my tape, eager to hear the vocal masterpiece that would soon flood from the speakers. Once I hit play, however, I knew that it was my mother and not I who had been right all along. I was awful! I could finally hear what I sounded like from outside my head--I must have been completely tone deaf! Oh well, at least I didn't have to wait for Simon Cowell to tell me that in front of a million home viewers. I still love to sing, though, but I confine it to my car or a bubble bath.

3. I wore braces for three and a half years and accompanying headgear for one of those years. It wasn't even the neck type of headgear that has just one simple strap; instead, it was an intricate, bridle-type system that had a variety of straps going over my head, behind my ears, around my neck. In the front was the mouth bit. My family would "neigh" at me every night before I went to bed. Luckily no one ever forced me to wear the awful thing out of the house. I have but one photo of me wearing the terrible contraption. Maybe one day I'll show it publicly, if you're lucky ...

4. The first date I ever went on was with a boy who was terribly nervous. As he drove his dad's Mustang into the movie theatre parking lot, he made one wrong jerk and smashed up the entire front end as he was parking! Needless to say, the rest of the date was just as awful, and we never went out again.

5. I eat an apple every day. I have probably eaten an apple almost every day of my entire life, actually. I like all kinds of red apples but am not crazy about golden or green apples. My least favorite kind of apple is Grannysmith, and my three favorites are Sparta, Macintosh, and Gala. Today I ate a Sparta. The skin is my favorite part and I think that peeling apples is a horrible waste. The best apples are ice cold and not room temperature. An apple a day ... was I born to be a teacher, or what? What a nerd!



Play along too, if you'd like.

{ ruminations on a tree }

bare trees in florida

trees are allowed to "fall"--
to lose those leaves that they bear,
to unload and rest,
allowing a little death,
anticipating far off rebirth.

can i find an image of a shadowed space,
(lonely,
skeleton riddled)
just dwell there,
and find an allowance to enjoy it?

must seeds always be scattered,
and ground turned over and over again?
can i live one day in the resting period,
stretching, but not striving?
can i just be,
perhaps a little bare, yet planted, holding my shape for later?

- - - - -

In related news: I finished my report cards.

{ a true [stupid] story }

Derek bought me roses
I put them in a vase
I left them on the counter
to catch the sunny rays.

I thought they were the prettiest
that he had ever bought:
all shades of red and cream and pink--
too bad I let them rot!

- - - -

Can you tell my creative juices have run dry? Writing report card comments for three and a half hours nonstop can do that to a person, you know! At least I'm half done ... (half!? *sob*) Give me some glittery red shoes and I'd click the heels, muttering, there's no day like Friday, there's no day like Friday. Just wait for Friday night, people ... I'm busting free, into a bulgogi party!!

I think this whole post was written just to prove to my friend, Bre that we can all have the appearance of being boring people with boring lives from time to time--it's not just you, Bre! Life is what you make of it ... so break out that bulgogi!

{ sunshiny day }

sunbeam streaming through the old belltower, Haiti

Yesterday was a sunny day for me all around. I finally got the chance to catch up on my Vitamin D, which I don't usually do during the week, considering that I leave the house when it's dark and return when the sun has already gone down. Derek and I endeavored to spend the day together and to "get out of the house!!", and we did.

We toured around the shops not too far from our house, half in car, half on foot. I managed to spend the first few twenties from my Christmas money cache. I got a couple skins for my ipod as well as a birthday gift for a friend who can expect something in the mail soon. We did some romantic things like held hands over a taco lunch, and some not so romantic things, like bought toilet paper at Costco.

For dinner we had an invitation to join some friends that we haven't seen since October. It almost felt a little funny to me to be going out with so many people again since I haven't done that in months, honestly. However, when we met up for Chinese food and discussion over really great noodles, I knew nothing had changed. We still joked the same way we used to, and we still all had that same friendly sparkle in our eyes, despite new hairstyles and jackets. Sometimes, while everything seems to change, nothing of value is changing. This can be a good thing. I felt a sense of grounding last night. I felt like I have ties that matter, and I felt like I matter.

I've mentioned before the overwhelming sense that I often have of being identity-less when I am apart from my job. I suspect that everyone has this feeling, not only teachers, but I especially feel helpless and worthless when I don't have a red pen in my hand and a group of adolescents in front of me. After all, I spend, on average, more than twelve hours a day involving myself in my job, and eight hours sleeping, and four hours preparing myself physically and mentally to return to my twelve hours of work for the next day. On days when I have no work to do (particularly Friday nights and Saturdays), I feel a little lost, a little ungrounded in this life of mine.

Refinding unchanging friendships brought such immeasurable value and pleasure back to me, not too unlike that sunbeam in the photo above. I know. Cheesy, right? Yet true. I am warmed from the inside out. Energized, too.

After noodles (with jokes of mullets, singleness, and job stereotypes) we took in some karaoke at a little Korean-owned singing spot. It was a first for Derek and I although familiar territory for the rest of our Asian friends. Despite the fact that my bedtime was slowly creeping up on me (aren't I a downer?) I had an absolute riot. We sang pop songs and emo songs and diva songs and some people even did the accompanying actions. Luckily, this was all in the privacy of our own rented room! Derek and I finally had to bail just several minutes before midnight, but not before I had had my fill of hilarity.

I woke up this morning with a pleasant sense of having been lightened yesterday, of recatching a glimpse of what life is supposed to be like. Life is supposed to be lived with friends, loved ones, in community. I'd withdrawn from such a life, accidentally, for far too long.

And as if my sunny imagery had not been enough, I threw open my closed bedroom door this morning around 8:45 to find the most glorious sunshine in days streaming into all angles of my house, perfectly sneaking in every window. I am looking forward to another sunny day.

{ riches to rags }

pagoda roof at Epcot's China pavillion

It feels strange to return from such a lavish holiday and to go back to being on a budget. I know that "rags" isn't quite the term I'm looking for, but aren't we all perpetually in search of a clever (or cheesy) post title?

On our holiday we were waited on hand and foot--our dinner table of five had two hands-on waiters to serve us and a head waiter to oversee them. Room service to our cabin was free, our towels got folded into cute little swan and elephant shapes, and we had our bedding turned down every night with a chocolate on our pillow to welcome us into slumber.

At home, trust me, we do not have turn down service unless you count the rumpled bedsheets that are strewn half on, half off the bed. We are back to a budget, envelopes of money reminding us how much we can spend on what. I don't know what is more painful--to have never known that such luxury existed, or to "have loved [the luxury] and lost than never to have loved at all." Don't worry, I'm not being entirely serious here. I've found my proper balance in life. I know my place in the world, and I don't despise it as I might seem to; and that little taste of something special was a definite treat, to be sure.

Derek's dad said, one night at dinner, while we ate our fresh rolls and sipped lobster bisque as our Indonesian waiter fluttered around, wanting to help, "Every human being should have the chance to experience something special like this at least once in their life. They should have the chance to feel that they deserve it."

It's not so much about deserving it based on any sort of hard work or merit (which obviously is not the prerequesite in our world, anyways); however, it is more of a deserving something special once in a while because aren't we all worth something, after all? Don't we all sometimes deserve the chance to just feel a sense of being loved and worthwhile because we exist, not necessarily because of what we have or have not done? And yet, isn't it nice to stay humble, as well, and to keep ourselves grounded in "the real world"? I am happy that I did find my balance.

And, you know me, I have my own qualifications for what may be luxurious. I am a skim milk drinker and have been all my life, but yesterday I bought the tiniest carton of real cream and intend to drizzle a little on my oatmeal this morning, with a sprinkling of brown sugar. I haven't cooked myself a slow, homemade breakfast in ages. I plan to boil down those oats with love and care myself (no packaged stuff for a Saturday!) and make it in the humbly lavish way that I'm sure my great grandmother always used to--with just enough of the special little extras added over top. It is a breakfast to be savoured in this cold weather, while my cheeks are still flushed from my outdoor excursion and my mini morning panic attack (I woke up thinking it was a school day, thinking I had overslept and that it was too late to find a substitute teacher--now that is panic, folks). So, you see, luxury can be found wherever you happen to strain to look for it.

The lazy plans for my day and evening include baking banana chip muffins from the rotting bananas I have, watching some food tv on my ipod (I was too tired for Anthony Bourdain last night), and perusing back through my holiday photos. I'm sure a cup of black tea will slip in their somewhere. And, the thorn in my side, I suppose I should un-deck the halls and remove our christmas tree and cranberry wreath back to their storage bins. We'll see if I get around to it or not. Frankly, if I have to look at the glittering bulbs for one week longer, it won't put me out too much.

I hope your Saturday, too, is filled with little homemade luxuries, a handful of personally lavish treasures. Because who really needs pagodas and lobster bisque and hot tubs every day, anyways?

{ sweet returns }

from the ship's deck, lifeboats overhead, just off Haiti

Well, I am back, my loyal readers! You flatter me with your requests for updates, truly! I can't believe it's been one month since I've last been on here, typing. I suppose life got the best of me, with stresses and time off. It's been a lovely month, though.

Derek and I had the chance of a lifetime these past few weeks. We spent twelve days with Derek's parents and brother, Patrick, in Florida (just outside of Orlando) and then cruising in the Eastern Carribean (I took the above photo from our ship's deck). All of the trip was amazing; it was filled with just the perfect proportions of both excitement and newsness and relaxation and calm.

Some things I did on vacation, in list format (since it's been a long day at school):

- Saw actual sections of the International Space Station at the Kennedy Space Center
- Watched a spectacular fireworks show at Disney's Epcot Center
- Rode the frightful "Tower of Terror" at MGM Studios
- Stood in the longest lines I've ever been in
- Bought a new bikini and a flower print sundress
- Snorkelled with fish as big as me (AAAH!)
- Had champagne on New Year's Eve
- Read two books--a total of 700+ pages
- Solved crossword and Sudoku puzzles
- Got over my head cold
- Ate lobster for the first time
- Ate seafood, steak, gourmet salads, a souffle, croissants, ice cream, the best tuna sandwich ever ...
- Ate, ate, ate (welcome to cruising, people!)
- Watched the sun go down over the ocean (gorgeous)
- Visited Haiti, Jamaica, Grand Cayman, and Cozumel
- Soaked in a hot tub every night before bed
- Forgot about my students for at least 7 of 12 days (an amazing feat!)
- Stayed up late and slept in; went to bed early and got up early
- Took some fun and fabulous photos--please see my flickr account on the side (more to come!)

It was such a pleasant time. Derek and I so enjoyed the opportunity to just escape for a little while. I know those twelve days have empowered us to survive whatever might come at us in the next year. Hopefully 2007 will be a good one.

Coming home was somewhat of a shocker--sub-zero temperatures and dirty laundry on the floor at home. This week I headed back to school and dreaded what the children might do to my rested mind. It was a good week, with lots of opportunity to laugh off stresseful moments, like when my overhead caught on fire in the middle of class yesterday. That is not a joke, people. Some kid (I haven't found out who...yet) stuffed paper inside the machine so when I turned it on to teach my Grade 7s, the machine ignited and black smoke came pouring out! The kids were half freaked and half enraptured by this scene.

I yelled at my Grade 8s after lunch because I supposed it was one of them. They questioned me, "Wait, wait, wait a minute ... what happened?!" I said, "MY OVERHEAD PROJECTOR LIT ON FIRE!"

"WHAT?!" they exclaimed. However, their overjoyed faces quickly switched to little pouts as several boys grumbled the same message to me: "Why doesn't anything good ever happen when we're in your class!?"

Oh, the joys of junior high! Really, though, I'm having a blast.

Last night I got the chance to meet up with a good friend who just returned from teaching in England at some frightful school. He agreed not to return in January after his Christmas break back home in Canada. We swapped stories of hilarity while we stood in line for movie popcorn with Derek.

I suppose while I'm updating you all on my life, I should mention that I received some thrilling Christmas gifts from loved ones this year. From my parents I got the most amazing back massager that I've ever experienced. I raced through the front door every day this week to plunk down in it as I watched Rachel Ray. From Derek and my brother and sister, I got an ipod! They went together and saved up for a video one, which is such a treat since we have no cable tv! I've spent the last few days downloading my favorite travel/cooking shows (Anthony Bourdain, anyone?) and plan to hunker down with them tonight under the covers.

Life is pleasant for me, and I am entirely blissfully happy, charred overhead or not.

Now that I'm back in town and settling into my groove, I look forward with talking to so many of you, whether it's in person, over the phone, or just through our internet connections. Don't worry, I won't wait so long to get back in touch this time! I hope to spend tomorrow sipping tea and playing with photos to share with you all! See you soon!